Around the time of Jack's 2 month pediatrician visit, I was still in the thick of Post Partum Psychosis (more on that in a later post). When in a psychotic state, our minds run amuck with persistent intrusive unusual thoughts that we just can't stop.
When Jack was born I immediately was thrown into Post Partum Psychosis, and it kept getting worse, and worse and worse...
At Jack's pediatrician appointments, we never really talked about Jack so much as the doctor was more concerned with my coping abilities and following up on whether I found a psychiatrist who could help (more on that in a later post).
I cried most of the duration of those appointments telling her I kept having hallucinations that Jack was a bomb and would explode in 2 hours. I never stopped staring at the clock, bracing for the explosion. When it didn't happened, and I fed Jack, I was CERTAIN it would
happen in the next 2 hours. I wasn't sleeping, I didn't think I was holding him the right way, I felt completely out of control. I couldn't get words out of my mouth and was stuttering and I felt that the ship was sinking...and fast.
"All I want you to do is read to him as many books as you possibly can. Every single day"– Dr. Peggy Marcus
I had expressed to her all the worries about not doing anything right, about not bonding with him, and feeling disconnected, like I was his babysitter, waiting for the parents to show up. She stopped me during that 2 month appointment and said, "All I want you to do is read to him as many books as you possibly can. Every single day." She was less concerned about how long I held him or whether the TV was on constantly or if I was on time with feedings. She said that if I could focus on accomplishing reading at least 10 books per day to him, things would fall into place.
From that day forward, I read 10 books a day to Jack. Every single day. I didn't really understand why I needed to read so much to a newborn...but after a year it became obvious.
- Reading helped us bond. When I was reading to him, I was more able to shut out the constant chatter in my head. For those moments Jack had a Mommy who was less anxious and more relaxed and he was therefore able to bond with me.
- Reading helped him speak early. Jack began talking around 11 months and putting sentences together at 18 months. Him talking early helped me most of all, as he was able to communicate quite young what it was that he needed which helped minimize temper tantrums.
- Reading was our one CONSTANT nightly routine. Jack and I were all over the place moving from house to house to Idaho and back and it was chaotic and stressful, but one constant remained: We always read before bed time. Always.
- Reading has turned Jack into a book LOVER. Literally. He reads anytime he possibly can. On long car rides, at Doctor's offices, on airplanes, while I'm editing, and when he's completely bored...he reads.
-Reading soothes him. Jack has long suffered with insomnia (more on that in a future post). He often wakes up during the middle of the night sometimes he wakes up screaming and goes right back to sleep, other times he wakes up and can't go back to sleep, and will read books for 2 hours.
Jack's Favorite Books by Age:
Happy Reading!!
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